The Itsy Bitsy Spider

Scene: Winterhoff Family Garage- 8:30 a.m. Friday morning.

Luke is playing with his construction vehicles in the garage. Mommy hurriedly carries Leah out to the car and buckles her in, while prompting Luke to "please stop digging in your 'struction site and get in the car so we are not late for preschool..."

Luke, completely unaware of any need to hustle and bustle (for it's only the 67th time that we've done this morning routine since September), responds, "But Mommy, I'm playing with this cute little spider..."

Mommy rolls her eyes and turns around, prepared to brush away whatever tiny little creature Luke has befriended. She gasps when she sees an arachnid the size of a small mouse scurrying across the garage floor.

(Those of you familiar with Mommy's character know her tendency to be a bit dramatic, but seriously, this spider was out of a scene from Jurassic Park).

Luke chases the gargantuan beast with a stick, calling out, "Come here, you cute spider!". Mommy grabs one of Daddy's enormous sneakers and hurls it at the beast, while she inwardly screams with fright.

The spider proves no match for the size 12 Nike. Luke asks Mommy, "Why did you smush the spider with Daddy's shoe?"

Mommy responds with a quick white lie: "Oh, he is just sleeping, honey. Let's go to school now."

Luke pauses, prods the deceased spider with his stick, and nods in agreement: "Yes, he will take a nap while I am at school".

Everyone gets in the car. On the drive to preschool, Mommy makes a mental note to call the exterminator and reinstate our preventative pest control policy. She wonders how to explain "eternal rest" to Luke when he gets home from school and notices that the spider is still sleeping, and decides that next time, truth may be a better policy.

Luke can be heard singing the "Itsy Bitsy Spider" from the backseat, complete with hand motions. Leah giggles with delight at her brother's shenanigans.

Mommy's penance for lying: She can't get the song out of her head for the rest of the day...